


Stan and Kenny Sitting in a Tree

by lordjenjen



Category: South Park
Genre: Chapter Tags in authors notes, M/M, additional ratings in chapter titles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-12-20 22:22:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21064145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: Stenny Week Collection as well as my Stenny short one shots.Authors notes contain chapter summaries as well as needed tags. Chapter titles have additional ratings.





	1. Day 1: Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 Reunion 
> 
> Stan is forced to return to South Park.

This wasn’t how Stan wanted to return to South Park, a broken man with a broken soul. Truth was, he didn’t want to return to South Park. He had things here he was trying to leave behind. Memories, problems, family. All of it. He wanted to leave all of this behind. Yet he found himself driving back into town in his used Prius with nothing but a duffle bag of clothes, a few personal items, and a few hundred dollars. 

He wasn't ready to go back to his parent's house, crawling back like a dog with his tail between his legs because the real world is out to fuck him over. He didn't want to admit defeat yet but he had to quit drinking. So Stan pulled into the nearly empty parking lot of Village Inn for a cup of coffee and whatever they had that would fit his dietary restrictions. 

The little bell announced his presence and brought Stan to the task at hand, finding a table. His old goth table was empty, which Stan was eternally grateful for. He didn't want to be confronted so soon by old friends. Stan turned and walked the other direction and sat in the car corner booth. He hardly had a chance to exhale before a menu was being dropped on the table. 

"What can I get you to drink?"

Stan looked up into the familiar blue eyes. Kenny's soft smile causing Stan's heart to flutter the same way it did so many years ago. His hair was pulled back into a tiny ponytail allowing the light to catch the studs littering his ear. He'd help with the first one but Kenny had added more. Stan had to force himself to look directly at Kenny.

"Coffee."

"Black like your soul?" Kenny's smile didn't quite match his words. 

"Yeah. It really matches the bitter person I've then into." 

"Coming right up." 

Stan watched Kenny walk around the counter. He picked up the craft of coffee and stared Stan down as he poured it down the sink. Stan couldn't help but smile at the small gesture that meant fresh coffee. Kenny poked his head into the order window, obviously talking to the cook. 

This left Stan to sort through his thoughts. He couldn't. He couldn't stop staring at him and thinking about how amazing Kenny looked and how pathetic Stan was. 

It wasn't until Kenny was walking back did Stan realize he hadn't even opened the menu. Kenny placed the coffee down in front of Stan before glancing at the table and smiling. 

"Need a moment?"

"I think I need more than a moment." 

Kenny slid into the booth across from Stan. "Still vegan?"

Stan smiled. "I've been in California for 8 years. Vegan doesn't even touch it."

Kenny raised one brow. "Well, we don't serve anything organic because it's a sham." 

"What isn't?" Stan took a moment to really look at Kenny. The dark circles under his eyes, how he looked tired. "I'm sorry. I stopped talking to you."

"Are you?" There was bitterness to Kenny's voice Stan has never heard before. 

"I am. I just-" Stan took a deep breath, recalling what his therapist had said about shifting blame. "College wasn't the best of times for me, but that's no excuse for me to have just shut you out like that."

Kenny was silent as he thought over Stan's words. "Yeah you're a real piece of shit. But so am I. So I guess we're good." 

Stan let out a tiny snort as he took a sip of coffee. "How have you been?"

"Oh you know," Kenny said as he waved his hand. "Living the high life. You? What brings you back?"

Stan found it hard to believe that Kenny didn't already know why he was back. "Oh you know," Stan made the same gesture with his hand. "City life was terrible. Decided pot farming was the life for me."

Kenny placed his elbow on the table before resting his head in his hand. "What really brings you back though?"

Stan dropped his smile and played with his couple handle. "A lot of things. None of them good. Job market is hard as hell. I was barely living. And then my girlfriend breaks up with me, kicks me out, and got me fired. I couldn't get a new job. I had almost no savings. So here I am, moving back home at 27." 

"That is shit. At least you left."

Stan could pick out the bitterness in Kenny's words. 

"Maybe so, but I'm not sure if it was worth it."

The little be rang, signaling new customers. Kenny let out a heavy sigh upon seeing who entered. 

"I get off at 3. We should hang out. Catch up. Wallow in self pity." 

Stan couldn't stop his heart from fluttering as Kenny grabbed Stan's hand and wrote his number, adding two hearts to either side of it. 

"Yeah. Yeah. That uh- that sounds nice."


	2. Day 5: Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Stan's Birthday. Kenny gets only the best gifts for his boo.

Day 2 birthday

It was a grueling day in the office. It wasn't the first time in his life Stan wondered how he ended up working a 8-5 government job when he'd gone to college to be a vet. It had been an odd and eventful set of circumstances that had led Stan to his current life. He wasn't complaining, it was just odd. The plus side was going home when he knew Kenny would be home.

Kenny being home first meant he could walk in, fall into the couch, and curl into his boyfriend. They could order something, perhaps pizza? Stan didn't care. He just wanted to feel the love, to make the day forgotten. Even just daydreaming about the evening made Stan feel better as be climbed the stairs. By the time he was unlocking the door, a smile was plastered on his face. 

Stan opened the door, expecting to see Kenny on the couch but instead was greeted to Kenny standing by their tiny table holding a present. A slow worry crept through Stan since Kenny was holding the box at crotch level. He slowly closed and locked the door before staring down Kenny.

"That better not be your dick in there again."

Kenny feigned a gasp. "Stanley Marsh! Why would you assume I'd do such a thing to you on your birthday?" 

Stan closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose as he clapped his hands together and brought them up to his mouth. 

"Kenny." He said pointing his hands at his still grinning boyfriend. "My birthday is the 19th."

"Yes."

"What are you doing?" 

Kenny set the box on the floor before mimicking Stan's previous movements, inhaling and clapping. 

"Stan." Kenny pointed his hands. "It  _ is _ the 19th." 

It took Stan entirely too long to realize Kenny was right. "So it is. What did you get me." 

Kenny picked the box back up and handed to to Stan, his Cheshire grin made Stan worry about the contents. Still, Stan took it and set the box down onto the table. It wasn't particularly heavy, just obscenely large. He carefully unwrapped the box, keeping Kenny in his sight. As much as he loved Kenny, he didn't trust that grin. That grin that both invokes Stan's curiosity and triggers his fight or flight response. 

Inside the box was jacket. Stan let out a noise he was sure no grown man should make over an article of clothing. He didn't care and he was sure neither did Kenny. The Denver Broncos hoodie was identical to the one he'd lost in their move, minus all the cheese and grease stains. But there was something else on it. Black marker.

"DUDE!" Stan yelled pulling the hoodie out of the box to inspect the signature. In doing so, he heard a thud, something dropping back into the box. Curiosity overtook Stan's desire to inspect the jacket. In the bottom of the box lay a single flesh colored dong. "Dude?"

"That is a dildo made from a cast of my dick." 

"It's your dick in a box."

"It's my dick in a box." 

Stan was silent a moment as took a deep breath through his nose to hold in his laughter. He couldn't laugh now. It would mean Kenny would have pulled another one over on Stan. Kenny was also trying not to laugh, his smile about to make him Canadian. 

"I hate you." 

Kenny barked out a laugh, using a chair for support. His laughter was contagious and soon Stan was also laughing. Kenny obviously went through a lot of effort for the joke, the stupid,  _ stupid _ joke. 


	3. Day 6: Addiction (Mature)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every relationship has their problems, so what if Stan and Kenny's might be worse than others. 
> 
> Warnings: Alcohol mention, Drug mention, Suicide mention, suicide glorification

Day 6 Addiction

Kenny hated how quiet the apartment would get. They didn't even own a ticking clock, yet he could hear one, his brain making up the noise to fill the silence. Not even an hour ago the apartment was filled with voices as Kenny and Stan yelled at each other. The fight resulted in Stan storming out for "a walk." They both knew he would walk to the bar, order some drinks and then come home. 

The fighting and recreational activities Kenny could handle. The silence he could not. 

It wasn't healthy and Kenny knew that, but it worked for them. They both had their problems but they also understood each other in a way others couldn't. Their parents constantly fighting and being a norm in both their house holds meant their arguments were loud and venomous. It surprised him everything someon didn't call the cops, but then again, they were two white makes in a rather nice apartment complex. 

Kenny hadn't realized how dark it had gotten until his phone screen came on with a new notification. It filled him with anger that Stan thought he could just  _ text _ Kenny like everything was fine. The urge to go find a new high in his old neighborhood was overwhelming. He really didn't have to go that far since a doctor had prescribed Kenny some oxycontin when her gotten stitches. The full bottles sat with the cold meds they kept on hand. Kenny never took any, afraid they'd be more addictive considering his past. 

Another ding caused Kenny to look at his phone. It wasn't even Stan. Irrational anger over took Kenny once again. How dare Stan not tell him he was alright! Kenny forced himself to take deep breaths, reminding himself Stan needed his space and honestly so did he. 

A thought imbedded itself into his head, he tried to shake it, but it was just so… tempting. The sweet release of death was perhaps the best high of them all. That wonderful euphora of nothingness was the most addictive drug of them all. Not even the pain the next rebirth would stop him from experiencing it. 

God he needed help. 

_ They  _ needed help.

Even as he thought this, Kenny found his body moving of its own accord. He slid off the stool and made his way to the bedroom where he kept his stash and pipe. If Stan was out drinking Jack, he may as well do some crack. Maybe he'd OD and get that sweet death high. If not, crack would be good enough. And maybe in the morning he'd talk to Stan about them getting help. 

Or maybe he wouldn't. After all, their relationship may be fuck up, but it worked. 


	4. Bonus: Frosted Tiddies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Stan comes home to a surprise.

Sprinkle Tiddies

***

The upside to dating Kenny McCormick was you never knew what he would do next. The down side? You never knew what he was going to do next. Stan wasn't quite sure what this was yet. When he left work after a good awful 73 hour work week, he was thinking about going home and cuddling his amazing boyfriend as they watched Netflix.

Instead he was greeted by a Kenny laying on the couch, with- honestly Stan wasn't sure.

“Kenny, what are you doing?”

“Frosting my tiddies.”

“Are you high again?” Stan was getting angry. They worked so hard to kick Kenny's cheezing addiction.

“Nope!” He pulled out a jar of sprinkles, shaking some of the rainbow colored sugar onto his chest.

“Then why are you frosting your chest?” Stan was proud he wasn't yelling. Yet.

“My tiddies, Stan. Remember last week when I made cupcakes and you said you wish you could fuck them because the we're so moist and good?” Kenny squeeze his pecs together, trying to not ruin his frosting job. “Well, Now's your chance to fuck my cupcakes.’

Stan stood in the middle of the living room, trying to process Kenny's words.

“Frosted tiddies, bitch. Frosted-Frosted tiddies, bitch,” Kenny wrapped, trying not to laugh. “Blue, red, green sprinkes on my tiddies bitch.”

Stan wanted to stay angry. He was tired from having worked long days and hardly seeing Kenny only to come home to this. But as Kenny started juggling his tiddies, he felt his face trying to smile.

“Sprinkes all over my tiddies.”

Stan snorted before laughing loudly. Having won their little battle, Kenny cheered and started rapping again about his frosted tiddies. This was definitely an upside to Kenny McCormick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sing it to "Rack City."


	5. Bonus: Googly Eyes (Mature)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stan wakes up to a surprise
> 
> Warning: Floppy Dick

Googly eyes

***

Stan didn't  _ want  _ to wake up. It felt like his first day sleeping in in twenty years and he just wanted to turn into a burrito, with or without company. But there was a strange sensation of being watched. He could feel it. Like someone was in the room, eyes boring into him. 

Slowly Stan opened his eyes. The brain fog and sleepy eyes had him doubting what he was seeing. He closed his eyes, hoping it would help. It did a bit, but his brain definitely wasn't misinterpreting what his eyes were seeing. Staring at him we're two wide, round white eyes with the most bizarre black pupils he'd ever seen. A little ticking noise seemed to echo in the room as the pupils danced around their eye socket, the nose seemed to be so long it flapped with the moment.

Stan blinked. And again. Yet it still stared at him. It moved again, it's nose flicking his own. 

The fog seemed to clear from his brain and he was suddenly very aware of his surroundings. 

“Kenny,” Stan's voice came out odd sounding from having slept so long.

“Yes my darling.” His voice was too chipper for Stan's newly awakened, mind, in far more ways than he wanted.

“Did you glue googly eyes to your abdomen?”

“No.” Kenny jiggled his hips again. “They are sticky.”

“Is this because I said that tengu mask looked fuckable?”

“Yes.”

“I hate you.”

Kenny's laughter caused the eyes and his dick to jiggle. The action was almost mesmerizing to Stan. His brain was too tired to deal with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the fact I used googly eyes as nipple pasties. Was fucking hilarious.


	6. Bonus: Retaliation (Mature)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stan gets some revenge
> 
> Warning: Floppy Dick

Retaliation

Kenny knew this day would come eventually. Between the frosted tiddies and googly eyes, Stan was bound to retaliate. He never feared the retaliation, quite the opposite. Stan could be a very patient and vengeful man, but the man's wits and humor was almost as great as his own. 

Kenny was laying on their bed, looking at movie times as he waiting for Stan to finish dressing. 

“We can go get food and then see the 7:00pm or go to the 5:30 and get food-”

The feel of something stroking along Kenny forehead caused him to pause. He'd never been on the receiving end of such an assault and it left him confused. The object moved down his face towards his cheek. It was at this point Kenny realized it was Stan's boxer covered dick poking at his cheek.

Kenny did his best to give Stan a stern look. With his eyes locked on his boyfriend's, Kenny reached out with his free hand for the pants and began attempting to zip them up. Stan wiggled his hips, freeing his prick through the fly and smacked Kennys cheek with it. He narrowed his eyes and attempted again to zip Stan's pants. 

Stan pulled back and smacked Kenny with his dick again. Kenny dropped his phone on his chest to free up both hands to zip up Stan's pants. As he reached to shove the man's erection back into his pants, Kenny lost it. He began laughing like a maniac trying to get Stan back into his pants and the pants zipped up. 

“Stooooooooooop,” Stan whined trying to pull away. 

This action only caused Kenny to laugh harder. Tears began streaming down his face as he held onto the pants. 

“Noooooo.” Stan's whine was the last straw. Kenny could no longer breathe. 

“Keeeeeennyyyyy. Touuuuch it,” Stan said trying to rub his dick on Kenny's face.

Kenny was laughing too hard to stop the dick assault Stan was giving him. He couldn't wait until Stan sought out revenge for the next thing he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off actual events. I live an eventful life.


	7. Bonus: Are you feeling it? (Explicit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kenny and Stan just having sex.
> 
> Warning: Sex.

Are you feeling it?

***

Kenny pulled his dick out slowly, leave in just the tip, before sinking it back into Stan ass.

"Fuck me harder, please."

"Are you sure?" Kenny asked, repeating the process. 

"Yes! God damn it!" Stan yelled as Kenny slowly pulled out again.

"As you wish."

He quickly thrusted back in getting Stan to moan. Kenny waited a moment, cock fully embedded in Stan's ass before he began fucking his ass without reservation. Stan let out little grunts and moans of pleasure as Kenny did his best to make Stan's ass reform around his dick. The noirette reached for his dick, stroking it as fast as he could, trying to get off. 

"Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" Kenny groaned.

Stan snorted has he tried to hold back his laughter. Stan's muscles contract with his laughter causing his ass muscles to squeeze Kenny's dick the same way as when Stan came. He wasn't sure if it was a fortunate or unfortunate chain reaction as he came deep into Stan's laughing ass.

"God damn it Kenny!"

"I'm still hard! I got you boo!" Kenny paused a moment before continuing his fucking. "Are you feeling it noooow, Mr Krabs?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I've whispered while having sex.


	8. Bonus: Hands (Mature)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stan comes home to a 'uge surprise.
> 
> Warning: 'Uge Floppy Dick

Tiny Hands

Kenny was proud of himself for this one. Googly eye nipple pasties had nothing on this, his most brilliant one to date. The Halloween shop recently opened and naturally he went. His original plan was to find a skeleton to make a bunch of boning jokes but this. This was better. The giant, orange faced, terrible toupee head sat on top of a pile of other pop culture heads. Sure greeting Stan as Betty White would have been funny, but not as funny as the quickly forming Trump plan.

He picked up a few other supplies and rushed home, eager to greet Stan in the most sexiest of ways. 

Head in place and tiny hand taped to his dick, he was ready. Stan opened the door, checking his phone, and closed it, not paying any mind to Kenny. As he dropped his keys onto the hook, he finally glanced over. Only the briefest of acknowledgement before looking back at his phone. 

Kenny watches as it finally hit Stan what he just saw he locked his phone and quickly turned towards Kenny. 

“What the hell, Kenny.”

“What? It 'uge. Look at these hands.” Kenny bounced his dick as he held his actual hands apart, mimicking the sorry excuse for an oompa loompa in office. “ ‘Ugest you've seen. So 'Uge. The best even.”

Kenny could see Stan trying not to laugh as he turned and walked into the kitchen. Kenny followed him, getting really close as he bent over to grab the water pitcher from the fridge,and poked Stan with this dick hand.

“What the-!” Stan turned to glare at Kenny. 

“‘Ugest hands ever to really grab um by the pussy.” Kenny smiled and trusted his hand towards Stan.

Stan lost it. He started laughing as Kenny swung his dick around. Kenny considered it a win.


	9. Attention K-Mart Shoppers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based loosely on my last K-Mart visit.

* * *

****

K Mart Shopping

How the KMart still existed or why Kenny enjoyed the place, Stan would never understand. It was a desolate building that only showed signs of life during the holiday seasons when every other store ran out of the hottest new toy. They had the same seven coloring, no one ever bought one and they were too discolored from the fluorescent lighting to even be usable. The electronics department only carried straight to VHS movies from 2005 or earlier and PlayStation one games he'd never heard of. Though he once found a copy of the Original Super Smash Melee clearanced to $5 and resold it online for entirely too much. 

Still, that one thing didn't justify the large KMart store having its doors open. There were no less than five employees hovering around the customer service desk, eager to assist them with their needs. Stan assumed Kenny enjoyed it, feeling like he was shopping in a boutique shop, someone ready to wait on him. However, he always waved then off and shopped around the store. 

Apparently, KMart was the only place to get Kenny's favorite jeans, meaning they probably stopped making them in 2012. Still the two would play around in the toy department before venturing off to see what treasures could be found. 

This adventure found Stan doing something he'd never thought he'd do in a KMart.

"I think that veggie soup was made with beef broth." 

Kenny turned to Stan. "It has nothing to do with the ice cream we are?" 

"Nah. Definitely beef broth. We need to go."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Stan. Just use the toilet here."

The thought was horrifying. What decrepit state would the bathroom be in? Who even cleaned the bathrooms? Stan was tempted to run across the street to the gas station, but he knew he'd never make it. His stomach chose that moment to make a loud noise that seemed to echo in the store. Stan sighed in defeat before heading towards the bathroom. 

The only saving grace was that the restrooms were at the back of the store and the employees were huddled at the front. Stan's assumptions were tossed out the window once he entered the bathroom. It was obvious the place hadn't been renovated since the late 90's, but the bathroom itself was rather clean. The tile wasn't chipped, no writing on the walls. Stan sat down and discovered there was actually toilet paper. So far it was far better than other public restrooms. Stan took his time, not feeling rushed to get out like he did in other public restrooms. It was almost like pooping at home.

Feeling better, Stan exited the bathroom to see Kenny checking out the contents of a standing freezer. It took him a moment to realize Kenny wasn't looking at it's content but judging it. Stan didn't understand why. They had no space in their apartment for such a thing. He wasn't even sure they bought enough frozen food to require an entire extra freezer. 

"Kenny. What are you doing?" 

Kenny hummed before attempting to get into the appliances. 

"Do you think this is big enough for a body?" Kenny asked part way into the fridge. 

"A body?" 

"Yeah." Kenny, unable to get fully into it, crawled out of the freezer and closed the door before walking over to another other one. "A body. Never know when we need to hide a body below the ice cream." 

Kenny opened a smaller chest freezer and quickly slammed the top down. Stan could feel his face scrunch up in confusion. He walked over to the freezer himself as Kenny walked away with the cart, shaking his head and mumbling nope. Stan opened the freezer and was greeted by a skeleton in a trucker hat holding a bag of chips. 

Confusion settled in as Stan realized Halloween was several months ago. And they stopped making biscuits and gravy flavored chips a few years back. Stan turned towards Kenny. The fact that Kenny was trying so hard not to grin was proof he did it. Stan refused to be played like this. He stared Kenny down as he grabbed the hat off the skeleton and put it on his head. 

Kenny snorted, trying to hold in his laughter, but neither said a thing as they made their way to the next department. Stan finally abandoned the hat in the men's department, unwilling to buy something with a non-existent band on it.

It wasn't until Stan was unloading the cart did he realize the real reason Kenny's immature ass was trying to hold in laughter. At some point he'd found a pickle Christmas ornament and lube and made sure to place them next to each other. 

"Why are you like this?" Stan asked trying to be serious. 

Kenny couldn't hold it in and began laughing hysterically. The overly excited lady behind the counter looked confused as she rang up the pickle ornaments. 

"You guys must really like Christmas to be buying an ornament this time of the year." 

"Nah. Just really like pickles." Stan's answer just made Kenny laugh harder. "It's a Christmas tradition we hide the pickle."

"Oh! That's nice." 

Stan wasn't sure they could come back again for a while. It's not like K-Mart had a variety of employees to not be noticed. 


End file.
